Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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