Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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