When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
only if we run a train.
done.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
