We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
