he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
