Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
