Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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