I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
