We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
and you fell through a lawn chair
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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