every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
