im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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