Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
