he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is classic penis vs brain.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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