the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
