Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think I won the penis lottery.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
