I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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