Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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