Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize