respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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