the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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