Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
