Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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