I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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