You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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