If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
