I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
