I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
