I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
