she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
