IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
