She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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