Buhtt sex?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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