we have pet lesbian snakes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
