I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
