hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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