my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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