I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
