if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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