i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
