That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize