Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
