I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
