just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
