I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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