i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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