I haven't been this sober since birth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
