Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
