whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
