I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I did not marry a roomba.
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