"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I miss vodka workout Fridays
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
