Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dignity is for republicans.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
