I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
