we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize