I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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