When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
