His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize