how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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