i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just tell him i said nine months
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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