...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
