so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
