How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
