so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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